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Have you
ever had one of those days when your whole body seems to ache and you
just don’t
want to get out of bed? You lie there wondering what your life is all
about and what you have done to make you hurt so
much! I know I had many of those days. Days when I thought I was up to
handling something with vigor, only to find myself fizzling out with
every effort. Over many years I fought myself. I justified, rationalized,
explained away, manipulated and bargained with myself to do anything
that would make life easier.
Of course, there were those days when a nice meal with all the trimmings;
a brand new item for my wardrobe; a trip to the movies and a good weep
or simply to curl up with a good book and a box of candy seemed to help.
Yet, no matter what I did, it never really was enough. There was always
that big dark spot on my shoulder saying something like "Try harder
next time" or "You didn’t do enough. Do more next time".
So, what is more and who is going to tell me when it is enough? Of course,
I asked around, got people's advice and, after a reasonable amount
of time in consideration of the new input, dismissed it or adapted to
it without a moment's hesitation. I convinced myself I was improving,
changing and becoming more, only to find myself once again explaining,
justifying, rationalizing etc. What a game I played! And, I might add,
played it well, until that uneventful day when everything seemed to crowd
in on me and I crashed. I say uneventful day, because nothing happened!
I was incapable of doing anything. I couldn’t think, worry, wonder
or even plan. All I could do was cry. I "cried me a river" and
once more tried to put my life back in order.
Once more I began to rationalize, explain, justify etc. I was back in
the loop and stronger than ever!! Or was I? A simple question turned
my life around. "Who am I?" After a great deal of conflict
from within, during which time I argued with myself continually, I began
to realize that I had no idea who I really was. I only knew that I was
not who I wanted to be. Deep inside myself was a yearning to be different
somehow. Whenever I tried to explain my yearning, others just responded
with "Live with what you have. That’s life."
Well, now the years have passed and I have changed. Over the years, I
have used hypnosis to change my mind many times. I no longer play those
games with myself. I refuse to hurt myself with all the justifications
born out of conditioning and habit. My mind is fresh and open to exploring
new things with a delightful urgency. My childhood mind is still there
and it still works. I explore and learn and keep on growing and improving
my relationships. I am proud to admit that there is still a great deal
more to know about myself and others.
Perhaps it is time for you to ask yourself "Who am I and what do
I want to be when I finally grow up?" Your family might think you
strange but at least you can know who you are, and what you want to make
you really happy. Just ask your "inner child" and touch your
own spirit.
Many clients have asked me to help them, and I have, but I always say
"The answer lies deep inside you" because you already know and
all I am going to do is help you stop the garbage that goes round and
round
in your mind.
Written
By Dr. Margaret Rogers Van Coops: Sumaris center: 321 Farallon Drive,
Lake
Havasu
City,
AZ.86403
Just call, (928) 354 7974 and I will help you. Fax (928) 453 1715
If you need help we are here for you. Come to our free talk at the Lake Havasu
City Public Library every last Wednesday of the month. Call: Sumaris Center,
(928) 453 7974 for details. Watch for our TV Show, Psychic Chit Chat on Friday
nights at 10 pm, Channel 45.
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